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Post by Transnation on Apr 10, 2017 16:22:04 GMT
the only connection i have in my life is an internet connection
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2017 16:26:35 GMT
the only connection i have in my life is an internet connection
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Post by friopi on Apr 15, 2017 6:37:08 GMT
I think the conflation of love with romantic/sexual love and the overwhelmingly heteronormative narrative of finding a single person to love more than all others, who you are supposed to prioritize above all other relationships, live and reproduce with, and use to meet the majority of your social needs for the rest of your life is poisonous and I want no part of it. The societally enforced hierarchy of relationships where sexual/romantic relationships are assumed to be more important than other relationships is something I disagree with strongly. A relationship should be important because the people in it decide it's important, not because it fits the dominant narrative. If you tell your boss you have to leave work to help your partner in an emergency, employers will generally be much more understanding than if it's your friend who's having an emergency. But who's to say the friend isn't just as or more important? The most important, loving relationships in my life are friendships that have had nothing to do with sex or romance, and I feel like that is the love I want to base my life around, regardless of what romantic partners I might meet. The idea of looking to one person to be my everything and being looked at that way in return severely creeps me out, as does the idea that "friends" and "lovers" are two super distinct categories of relationships. Much of the way "romance" is portrayed in popular culture is awful and abusive. This isn't to say that people shouldn't have monogamous romantic relationships if they want to, but it should be a choice made by those people, not a normative assumption.
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Post by -- on Apr 15, 2017 7:03:02 GMT
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Post by Transnation on Aug 25, 2017 22:57:08 GMT
does not exist
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Post by beepbeepletsride on Aug 25, 2017 23:58:37 GMT
I'm reading through this thread and holy shit it's deep. Messy but deep. Sending love to all of u
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Post by Dvnots on Aug 26, 2017 0:14:49 GMT
Since this is revived, I don't think that romantic love doesn't exist but I don't think it's a necessity for everyone or something that everyone can even experience. And there are probably people who can who just don't experience it in their lifetime.
I love my friends and family and kids that I take care of (not literally like my children but when I'm doing a camp counselor type thing or whatever) and my dog and dogs in general and I think that's good enough for me. I don't really crave a boyfriend or husband or significant romantic partner at the moment really. Maybe one day I will. But until then, it's not important to me. Especially since after years of different medications I finally found some of the right ones (in combination with therapy) that are able to treat my depression and anxiety to the point where I'm happy more often than I'm sad. I'm not gonna put myself in a relationship that could be toxic or that could fuck me up emotionally.
But everyone's ideas and opinions of love are completely different. It's all subjective/personal
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Post by Transnation on Aug 26, 2017 0:19:47 GMT
I want to scream & I'm sick and tired of losing hours upon hours of sleep nightly over love and it's ever strobing definition.
Years and years of social naivety have crept up on me and left me feeling emotionally disabled and unlovable. every night is a passing pain and my mental and physical health is deterioring from stress. I don't know what it takes to be a romantically and sexually enticing person to any degree because I have nothing built up for myself and I don't have the self-love or stability and capacity in my own company to do so.
Sometimes I feel like theres something fucked up in my head to make me come home and listen to music glorifying love (pop) every day when quite frankly love is the main thing leaving me seemingly irrepairably braindamaged.
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Post by beepbeepletsride on Aug 26, 2017 3:47:27 GMT
Since this is revived, I don't think that romantic love doesn't exist but I don't think it's a necessity for everyone or something that everyone can even experience. And there are probably people who can who just don't experience it in their lifetime. I love my friends and family and kids that I take care of (not literally like my children but when I'm doing a camp counselor type thing or whatever) and my dog and dogs in general and I think that's good enough for me. I don't really crave a boyfriend or husband or significant romantic partner at the moment really. Maybe one day I will. But until then, it's not important to me. Especially since after years of different medications I finally found some of the right ones (in combination with therapy) that are able to treat my depression and anxiety to the point where I'm happy more often than I'm sad. I'm not gonna put myself in a relationship that could be toxic or that could fuck me up emotionally. But everyone's ideas and opinions of love are completely different. It's all subjective/personal Always important to focus on yourself first. Sending positive energy towards you ❤️
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Post by beepbeepletsride on Aug 26, 2017 3:51:49 GMT
Time to open up a little- ( I almost never do )
I am 16 and have been on over 60 Grindr dates and everyone has blocked me straight up. And it's not bc I fuck things over as much as it's bc people are looking for the HOLE and not the WHOLE. I keep on wanting to give up on finding someone completely but I always find myself back trying to get some strangers attention. I used to have standards and meet people in public but I usually just go in stranger's cars and drive around. Everyone just wants to use me and leave and if I don't give them what they want then they will still be done with me. It hurts so much. I know everyone says that's not the place to look for someone to actually want a friendship or relationship but I'm so overly hopeful. I guess it's naive. I've gone to therapy and been on meds and nothing has fixed my need for attention from someone. And every weekend it's like just taking another chance to get hurt again. RANT over sorry if this was depressing or annoying
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Post by rydeen on Aug 26, 2017 13:08:16 GMT
Time to open up a little- ( I almost never do ) I am 16 and have been on over 60 Grindr dates and everyone has blocked me straight up. And it's not bc I fuck things over as much as it's bc people are looking for the HOLE and not the WHOLE. I keep on wanting to give up on finding someone completely but I always find myself back trying to get some strangers attention. I used to have standards and meet people in public but I usually just go in stranger's cars and drive around. Everyone just wants to use me and leave and if I don't give them what they want then they will still be done with me. It hurts so much. I know everyone says that's not the place to look for someone to actually want a friendship or relationship but I'm so overly hopeful. I guess it's naive. I've gone to therapy and been on meds and nothing has fixed my need for attention from someone. And every weekend it's like just taking another chance to get hurt again. RANT over sorry if this was depressing or annoying Not trying to be rude, but if you're looking for love on Grinder, you are going to have a bad time.
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Post by beepbeepletsride on Aug 26, 2017 17:25:48 GMT
Time to open up a little- ( I almost never do ) I am 16 and have been on over 60 Grindr dates and everyone has blocked me straight up. And it's not bc I fuck things over as much as it's bc people are looking for the HOLE and not the WHOLE. I keep on wanting to give up on finding someone completely but I always find myself back trying to get some strangers attention. I used to have standards and meet people in public but I usually just go in stranger's cars and drive around. Everyone just wants to use me and leave and if I don't give them what they want then they will still be done with me. It hurts so much. I know everyone says that's not the place to look for someone to actually want a friendship or relationship but I'm so overly hopeful. I guess it's naive. I've gone to therapy and been on meds and nothing has fixed my need for attention from someone. And every weekend it's like just taking another chance to get hurt again. RANT over sorry if this was depressing or annoying Not trying to be rude, but if you're looking for love on Grinder, you are going to have a bad time. I actually know people who have found it. I'm on tinder too if that's any different to you
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Post by beepbeepletsride on Aug 26, 2017 17:35:51 GMT
Sometimes it really sucks being younger and gay in the dating world. So many people are superficial and not out so therefore they just want a hookup in fear that if they have a relationship, their life will be ruined by unaccepting family or friends.
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Post by Transnation on Aug 26, 2017 17:43:08 GMT
honestly finding people in general who dont wanna just hook up is proving more and more impossible and i think society is only going to get less platonic and more hypersexualized so
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Post by beepbeepletsride on Aug 26, 2017 17:46:38 GMT
honestly finding people in general who dont wanna just hook up is proving more and more impossible and i think society is only going to get less platonic and more hypersexualized so I hate that
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